In the 18 years I have been menstruating, I have dreaded that time of the month were my body would warp, my mood would change and uterus would shed. A woman's monthly has been consistently shamed and misunderstood for as long as I can remember. I've been made to feel embarrassed by something that is completely out of my control.
I understand from a cultural perspective; modesty and fertility play a part to religious traditions, but for western societies there is a prominent misunderstanding of the science behind menstruating. It's something that all women have to go through and we've copped a lot of bullshit around it. I know i certainly have over the years, here is a list:
First year of high school and the girls teased me when there was blood on the back of my school uniform. I was so upset and embarrassed I went home, after having to borrow the school's "spare uniform". Did I mention it was an all girls school - so cruel.
My best guy friend in high school having a "fear of tampons". I still don't understand why. Im not friends with him anymore.
South park quote being repeated by little boy after pimply teen "I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die". Thank you South Park for fuelling the youth of the millenium with a quote that makes them more stupid.
Boys asking if me and my best girl friends were "sinked up" because we were friends. Rolls eyes.
The multiple times I was genuinely stressed, sad, confused or angry and some know-it-all would ask me - "are you on your period"
Calling in sick because of menstrual cramps and being interrogated by its validity - BY OTHER WOMEN! (even if it wasn't severe, its non of your business, so kindly fuck off)
Williamsburg Bodega - I needed an emergency box of Tampons and the shop owner was so embarrassed he asked me to quickly put them in my handbag so he didn't have to see them.
MAGA woman stating a woman shouldn't be president in case a woman has a hot flash and starts a war. Literally this was said, click on the video below, and skip to 3:47 minutes in. You should totally watch the rest too because its frickin hilarious!
The feminist in me is cringing at these overdramatic, highly misogynistic assumptions and played excuses about women and how she can "fly off the handle" when it is her time of the month. However, the opportunist in me wants to flip this bitch and use the week that was dreaded to a week I can look forward to, and I urge all of you to do the same.
Moving forward, when you find your period impending. Remember how incredible your body is and what it can create, nurture and transform into. Use this week to give your body a break, and spoil your soul rotten and not apologise for it.
Be selfish
First and foremost - this is your week and you need to be listening to your body. and that starts with your feelings and emotions trumping your obligations. So, If you don't want to go out, you don't have to. If you want to stay in bed all day, I urge you to do that. Want to eat the whole pizza instead of split-zing with your sister, then do it. Try not to piss anyone off when thinking of yourself. But put yourself first none-the-less.
Pamper Yourself
Baths! Face-masks! Massages! Nails! Facials! Hair Colour!
Schedule all of them around the same time your period is scheduled. If you're like me and your period brings an army of hormonal acne, I like to do a microdermabrasion facial a day after my cycle has ended to remove all the dead skin from my scars.
Create a Period kit
Every pharmacist should have these Items - so you can include them in your weekly drug store haul. Completely customisable, but heres some kick off ideas;
- Lavender Epsom salts
- Honey and Lavender tea
- Microwave heat bag
- Silk eye mask
- Neutrogena sheet masks (I like the lavender ones for before bed)
- Coconut oil hair masks
- Ibuprofen (or any other pain killers based on your body's reaction)
- Your big comfy tee or hoodie. Find your comfort piece of clothing and live in it. Mine is a big Aussie Lowes flannelette shirt.
Spoil your soul
Read that book. Binge all of the Dirty John. Eat the Ice cream. During this week you have my full permission to be a total slob/glutton/lazy MFF. Next week you can go back to juggling deadlines, events, work stress, calories counting, boy drama, bill payments etc. Bonus points to the MFF that blocks out her calendar and takes no calls :P Yes I know thats unlikely - but hey, you do it when you're on holidays.
CRY, CRY and CRY some more
Im so sick of being told not to cry. to stay strong. to move forward blah blah blah. Its all relevant - I get that. But when my period (and i dont know if this si the same for you) Im an emotional sponge. Im super sensitive to feedback (whether it be professional or personal) social media and my anxiety. I feel like a pressure cooker that could explode at the slightest touch and exercise, meditation, talking to a professional - just doesnt help. So I roll out the movies that make my cry every time; The Notebook, A little Princess A Star is Born and A Walk to Remember and I squeeze every last tear out of me then I go to sleep.
Cuddles and Orgasms
Ladies! We Toey AF! Get that vibrator girl! or spend a whole afternoon with candles and lingerie and just feel your body when you're at your most vibrant and extraordinary. Hot shower masturbation is an ultimate favourite of mine because the hot water runs down your clit and across your vulva - I digress, the point is just because you're menstruating doesn't mean you're not a sexually charged vibrant woman. So worship your body and make sure she's appreciated accordingly
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