FIRST AND FOREMOST… I’ve got some serious body image issues. This isn’t a health blog and I’m not going to bore you with my personal weight loss stories, but for vi
sibility purposes - I’m 5’7, 160lbs. I eat all foods and feel guilty when half a tub of Ben & Jerry’s is somehow consumed within the space of a second. I’m human. Get over it.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way – I’ve been focusing on healing my inner self for the entirety of my adult life. I do yoga. I meditate. I practice self-care, cardio, HIIT (high intensity interval training), and journaling (as you know). I see a therapist, I drink green tea, I get massages. I avoid alcohol. I’M DOING WHAT YOU’RE TELLING ME TO DO, INSTAGRAM!
However, I’m not getting better. Everyone told me to heal from within and your self love will follow (vomit). Don’t get me wrong, I won’t ever stop these habits because they’re wonderful – but they aren’t (either individually or collectively) the magical pill that solves all my problems. Neither is a husband or a puppy, but I’m tired of banging my head against a brick wall and not seeing my attitude shift. At the end of the day, my vanity needs a recharge. I need to make changes on the outside for my new persona to shine from within.
No-one can deny that beauty is an external, superficial collection of all your personal traits appropriately placed onto a round pan and cut up into 8 slices – wait, no, that’s pizza. But my point stands; attraction is first drawn in by your outward beauty (haters come at me, but you know it’s true). Like a beautifully designed home, or a sleek BMW coupe, or a crystal blue ocean, or, yes, that perfect pizza straight out of the oven. Humans are attracted to things that look good first.
Sadly, I do not think I have ever been attracted to myself. I do not like myself in photos or on camera. I get insecure when I’m in public and I’m wearing something slightly daring. I’m constantly comparing myself to other females, especially the ones with naturally flat stomachs… I just don’t understand how it’s possible. So, in order to change my own persona, I’m taking my Amex (that gives me double points when I buy things through SkyMiles) credit card and investing in the things that will eliminate (permanently/semi-permanently) these parts of myself that are a burden on my MFF persona.
Welcome to my MFF Glow-up!
Body:
I am heavy, curvy, and tall. I can hold a lot of weight. My BMI says I’m in the overweight category. I know that the scale doesn’t mean anything, but for me - to hold a higher standard for myself - I like to be of certain measurements.
I have a pair of black work suit pants that are very, very tight. That is my goal – that is my optimum. That is the measurement I need to play in to feel my best and be the proudest of my body. And it isn’t that unachievable. Over the last 5 weeks, I’ve been exercising daily and tracking what I eat. I can fit into those pants now – but they’re tight. So, my goal is very close. Once I’m satisfied, I can be a bit more lenient on when and where I snack. However, naturally my weight and body is going to fluctuate, so I need to be kinder to myself when trying on those pants.
Skin:
Raise your hand if your skin is perfect!
C’mon, don’t be shy.
I thought so – I have a friend and she has the best skin in the world. It tans like a dream and it’s as soft as a baby’s bottom (she doesn’t let me nuzzle into her arm anymore, but she will!) And the thing is, even she gets the occasional breakout. So, we all have skin imperfections - and I know I’m not the only one who enjoys picking a pimple and squeezing a blackhead.
I gave up alcohol in December 2019. I thought one of the advantages would be bright, glowing, amazing skin. Which it was, for a little while! However, I’m a hormonal person and I still get breakouts. They’re nowhere near as bad as they used to be, thankfully, so they have improved. I will say, my skin is at it is best when I chug - literally chug - 3+ liters of water a day. One thing I always have on me, whether I’m at home, at work, or on the go, is a green tea.
Hair:
Given that I’m an elected bottle blonde, I need to take extra special care to make sure my hair does not fall out. That includes regular hair appointments, regular masks, Olaplex shampoo and conditioner, heat resistance products, cotton wraps, and toners. But is it worth it? Absolutely! I love my hair and I love the way it feels when it’s healthy. I pay a lot for it, so I make sure my money isn’t spent in vain. I’m proud to say it’s full, thick, and flexible to style. AND I don’t have any greys… yet!
I think it’s important for all women to practice self-care (in a practical sense). Facials, massages, waxing, tanning, Botox, vitamins, mani-pedis, boxing classes, steam rooms – whatever. One of the beautiful things about being in NYC is there are so many experimental ways to improve your self-care routines. I have both my regular beauty maintenance schedule and some new habits I’ll be adopting.
Body & Weight
- Probiotics
- Intermittent fasting
- Water consumption increase
- Commit to daily exercise
- Avoid salts
- Calorie counting
Face
- Dermaplaining
- Laser hair removal on my chin and upper lip
- Eyebrow threading
- Botox around my eyes - but I’ll be adopting forehead soon.
- Monthly dermabrasion and extraction facial
Hair.
- Extensions when I’m out
- Bombshell blonde upgrade
- Using Olaplex on my hair
- Olaplex treatment every fortnight
- 3 monthly hair salon treatments including cut, dye, toner, and treatment
- Blow dry whenever I damn well feel like it
Skin
- Fortnightly exfoliation treatment
- Spray tans 2-3 weeks
- Oils in the morning
- Moisturize before bed
Believe it or not, you have full creative control over your appearance. Like the MFF I’m aspiring to be, she is always in control and dictates how she embodies her persona.
We’ve spent the years before us molding our features based on what has been in style, what others have influenced us to do, and – yes – how others have responded to our features. Storing other people’s opinions, letting them dictate how you wear your beauty. This has formed and created the way we look now.
So, let us take the power back – and here’s how you do it!
Remind yourself how easy it is.
And it really is. You want to dye your hair bright red? You can. You want to lose 10 lbs.? You can – you are more powerful than you realize and your appearance is yours to transform at your own free will.
Visualize the look you want.
Research. Prep. Work or research! If you aren’t on Pinterest or don’t have a vision board, then you didn’t get the memo. It’s brilliant - and more addictive than insta scrolling (in my opinion).
Say the change out loud.
Affirmations!!! Tell yourself you’re the person you want to appear to be. The person you will grow into.
PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE CHANGE –
Buy the raunchy lingerie. Buy the jeans you want. Book the ticket to Mexico – and the yellow polka dot bikini you’ll be dancing in when you get there.
Appreciate and compliment.
Your canvas is already beautiful. So, thank yourself for being the vessel of everything you have already achieved.
Stop resisting the way you are.
At the end of the day, your heart and your soul are still the most beautiful defining quality about yourself. Do not shy away from that.
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