Or any app dating for that matter. In my years using these mediums to find companionship, i've come to learn some hard lessons along the way but a pattern tends to emerge with the 10 red flags. Quick disclaimer: this is not a one-size-fits-all psychology . Its simply repeated behaviour that I have experienced and i'm sharing them onto my beautiful MFFs so you can navigate around them accordingly.
1. Only one photo
Im not sure who would be thinking “yep that’s the one. The one photo that will get all the gals. No need to share more. I think I got this” but I choose to believe that their lack of attempting to impress you, is pure laziness – or an indication that, they're not taking the app that seriously. Either way: that’s a swift left swipe for you my friend and better luck next time.
2. Their profile says about their height “I'm XXX, because apparently that’s important” (or a variation of that)
Every-time, I see this written - whether they’re 6ft, 6’5, or 5’8 – I am immediately turned off. Your height is not the problem, it’s the passive aggressive “I guess it’s important” that waves a red flag. You're height is something you physical cannot change (sure you can wear high heels, or platforms – Prince did his whole career and he was a force to be reckon with) if you’re stating throw away defensive slurs before i've even stated weather height is important to me – it says you're a little more insecure then I want in a companion. Sorry baby boy, that’s a left from me.
3. They’ve already stated their Sexual fantasies in the bio
Your sexuality or what you like in bed is your business - whether you're Polyamorous, dom, a sub, a cuck, or whatever. If that’s something that you’re into, then go for gold you sexy minx you. I've learnt to stay clear these profiles because, it means that a match is saying you are aligned with that sexual fantasy – instead of, I appreciate that’s what you’re into, but id like to get to know you on another level too.
If their profile doesn’t reveal their deal-or-no-deal fettishs then there’s opportunity to build up to them, and introduce them later. I feel like there is too much pressure if I match with them, so yeah I avoid.
4. Multiple photos with his boys
WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
This is fast and effective dating, I don’t want a puzzle. Have at least one photo on your own, or have the decency to point out which one you are.
5. Photos with other girls
We get it. You’re heaps desirable, and these girls are fairly attractive. So you must have high standards. Sorry mate, not getting jealous or turned on because you think you’re Chris Hemsworth. And i'm not interested in competing with all your lovely women. Hard pass you stud you.
6. No head or Face
Which is usually followed by some lame excuse about clients and privacy. NOPE – he's married swipe left. Also, how arrogant do you think it sounds that they think they can still hook a hottie without showing their face.
Sorry buddy, if I want to see abs i'll google Zac Efron. BYE!
7. Finance Bro and proud!
So you work in finance? Good for you mate. So does everyone else in NYC. If thats all you've got going for you - I think i'd have a better conversation with a succulent.
8. MAGA – need I say more
Or any Trump propaganda for that matter. To the left to the left.
9. Their profile says “32” but then their Bio says “i'm not 32, i'm 42”
a. Dude – how did bumble fuck that one up?
b. Then why don’t you change it?
I understand now, that if you lie about your age you get thrown into a different category of younger prospects. But like the height thing, if it’s something you're insecure about then there will probably be bigger issues later on.
10. They’re already passive aggressive in their bio
I came across a strapping gentleman last week on tinder who’s profile literally read
“you’re really really down to earth and totes spiritual? Dogs and pizza are life, I can’t even! And oh my god do you totally live for Sunday brunch and beach with the girls?”
A part of me thinks he’s trying to be funny. But the other half (the realistic half) knows he’s being rude to try and get a girls attention. Imagine how that date would go… No thanks.
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